I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
We are all done wearing pants today
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
