i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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