I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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