Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
