Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
