It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
