I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
