I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
