Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
