are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
my being single is dangerous.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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