i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize
