your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
