the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
