How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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