her vagina looked like bernie madoff
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
