Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
