The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
