thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
