Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
operation harelip BJ is a go
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
