I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
