I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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