no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
