operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
