dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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