when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My bed smells like the plague
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
