Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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