I wish I could punch you in the face.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
