I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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