Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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