My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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