This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
