it wasn't lemon gatorade
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
worst night to have a conscience
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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