apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
