I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
