there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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