It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
