i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
