i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
