we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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