i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It's never too late to be topless.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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