where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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