Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
