i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
