And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
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