Please, let me fuck your mom
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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