3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
