they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
