This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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