I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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