I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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